SEE WHAT IS COMING
SOON
ATOM: Hounds of the Reaper
Chapter 1—Natalie
Physical therapy is a bitch.
I swear “Darcy the therapist” gets off on causing me pain. All she does is smile. Either that, or she’s on Xanax.
“Ruby would have been better,” I mutter to myself, then feel the stab of pain in my gut at the thought of my roommate. The roommate I haven’t really seen in months.
We weren’t attached at the hip, but she was my only friend here. Is. She’s still my friend. Just one who seems to ignore me. We’ve roomed together since the start of college. We clicked right away because neither of us was into sharing much about ourselves, and we didn’t need to be together constantly to be friends. Or so I thought.
Hell, we even got kidnapped together. If that doesn’t make you close with someone, then I don’t know what does.
But since we got back, since I saw her that one time in the hospital, there hasn’t been much from her. A response to a text here and there with an emoji only. No answers to my phone calls, and not once has she stepped back into the apartment. Well, I don’t think she has. Her door is shut, and I don’t want to invade her privacy. I know she’s not dead in there. The smell would be the sign. Besides, I see her sometimes.
I booked my physical therapy at her old job just to see her. How pathetic is that? Don’t answer, I already know. Pretty pathetic. I’ve seen her at the office. I’d hoped she would help me with my leg. It still bugs me even though the doctors said the surgery went well and it’s not broken anymore. But I get numbness, twinges, and aches so much that I feel like I can’t walk on it. Might all be in my head, might not. The therapy is working, not that Ruby knows. They told me her client list was too full to take on someone new, and then the last time I asked if I could switch, they told me she’s taking a break.
Good. She’s had a tough go of it. Having a dead dad, not-dead dad, getting kidnapped, and sleeping with your bodyguard is a lot for anyone. I don’t fault her for taking time for herself. I’m even proud that she’s doing it. A year ago, she’d have just pushed through or some shit.
Breaks are good. Soothing and all that.
Something I should probably do too, but that’s not how I handle my drama or my trauma. I much prefer the method of pretending it never happened. I’m the bury-my-head-in-the-sand type. It works. Kind of.
Till my stepsister, Reina, showed up.
The same time that Ruby stopped talking to me. Funny coincidence, right? Yeah, I don’t believe in them either.
I went almost five years with no one from my past life reaching out, and then on the last day I saw Ruby, my rock who didn’t even know it, the biggest train wreck I know walked into my world. And she isn’t leaving.
I see Reina everywhere I go, whether I’m in Kansas City or Manhattan. Just glances out of the corner of my eye, but enough to know I’m not imagining things.
I know she sees me too.
She wants to destroy anything I have. It’s been her favorite hobby since she came into the family.
At first, I didn’t care enough about anything that she tried to take from me. None of it mattered. But then her mother, Michiko, had my dad change my name. My freaking name! That’s when I stopped rolling over and taking what she wanted and fought back.
Not by hitting or slapping, even though I wanted to. No, I did it in ways that made a bigger impact.
I got close to my grandfather, the head of the family.
I became his companion of sorts. He trusted me well enough and allowed me in places that she was never meant to enter. That infuriated her to no end. And it was the only time I remember smiling when I lived with her.
But I got lazy. Thought I’d won the war when it was only a battle in her eyes.
When she’d had enough of my small manipulations, Reina took something that I thought wasn’t a possibility. She had her mother, her friends, and sometimes my father guiding her. I only had myself. No one else. I asked my grandfather for one favor. Just one. And since I had never asked for anything else in my life, not even a gift for my birthday or Christmas, he granted it.
I was set free.
But now, with Reina here, I think my freedom has finally been canceled. Not by her, but by the family. Reina has some talents, but she wouldn’t waste time finding me. I was gone, which was all she wanted. If she’s here now, it’s because the family wants me back somehow. Something she can’t let happen.
Joke’s on her, though.
I don’t want to go back. Never have, never will.
The Uber driver stops in front of my place, and I get out and climb the stairs. I rarely spring for a ride when I have something to do in town, but after the first few weeks of physical therapy, I learned walking is harder right after a session, so I splurge, but only on the ride back.
I need to get a car. Something small and reliable. If Reina gets too bad here, I can just take off. Go on the road and see how life is. I’ve become secretly addicted to those van-life videos on my social media accounts and binge-watch them nightly. I could live like a minimalist. Already do, really. The only things I have are clothes and books for classes. But… what if I signed up for online classes only and just went? Left all this behind?
Man, that sounds so damn appealing.
As I reach the top of the stairs, I can already see the yellow sheet of paper sticking out of the door. Curious, I open it before going inside.
“Fuck,” I can’t help but say out loud as I read the eviction notice.
Yeah, van life is looking pretty sweet right about now.
The guy at the gate knows me. Well, not my name. I doubt many know me as anything but “Ruby’s roommate.” But the prospect has seen me around enough to just nod and let me in once the Uber driver drops me off.
I know I shouldn’t be here. Ruby made it very clear that the clubhouse isn’t for randoms to just come knocking. Civilians, those outside the club like me, aren’t welcome here unless they’re invited. And I was never invited. Not really. I’ve been here a handful of times, but only because Ruby was coming. I only ever spoke to her and one other girl who became an old lady. Her name was Milly or Brooklyn or something. Everyone here has two names: a club name and a legal one. When does a person go by one or the other? Who knows?
Based on the number of cars and bikes in front of the building, I’m hoping luck is on my side right now. Once I read the eviction notice, I called Ruby. Five times. No answer. I texted. Even emailed. I didn’t want to tell her we’re being evicted through a text message, so I begged her to just call me and even said it was a 911 emergency.
Still nothing.
Showing up at the clubhouse is a last resort. I don’t know where she’s been staying, but I’m hoping someone will tell me. Or at least give her the message to actually call me so we can talk.
Despite what the vehicles out front say, the clubhouse is pretty empty inside when I push my way through the heavy front door. A few people are playing pool, and a couple are sitting around. I don’t see anyone too familiar, just vaguely enough to get a nod from the person behind the bar who’s cleaning a glass.
“Is Ruby around?” I’m looking at the bartender, but I say it loud enough for anyone to hear me.
“Out back” is all I get from the bartender, plus another nod to the back doors.
“Thanks.” I nod once back and go where he directed, finding a backyard filled with all the people I was expecting to see in the clubhouse.
Must be a barbecue or something. A family thing. Something Ruby mentioned but I never went to. I get it. This was her place, not mine.
But what hurts the most, other than knowing I was never welcomed here, is seeing Reina. She’s snuggled on the lap of one of the brothers and sitting by Ruby.
Of everyone here, Ruby chose to sit by her?
I swallow the emotions that bubble up my throat and force my face not to show a reaction.
But it hurts. More than a lot of other things I’ve dealt with in my life.
I should just walk away. Forget this, forget I ever saw them all together, forget about the eviction and just van-life it up.
But I don’t.
I might not owe Ruby anything, but it’s the right thing to tell her.
“Hey,” I say once I get close to the group.
“What are you doing here?” Ruby is quick to ask but doesn’t get up from her seat.
I should have planned for it, but I didn’t, and it’s not the response I was thinking I’d get. Or was hoping for.
Doing this in private might be better, as I note the number of people staring at me. Not Reina, though. No, she’s tongue-deep inside the brother’s mouth, and he’s moaning just loud enough to be obnoxious.
“Um, I tried calling and texting. You didn’t answer.”
“So?”
I don’t hide the hurt on my face at Ruby’s one-word reply. It’s not cold, just distant. As if we were just classmates and not roommates who shared everything for so long.
“So.” I pull out the paper from my back pocket and hold it out to her. “We got an eviction notice. I know you haven’t been back to the apartment in a while, but I wanted to let you know.”
Now she’s standing, walking to me and taking the paper. A small sense of relief floods me as she questions me. “Eviction?”
“Yeah. The landlord said he wasn’t getting the full rent. I just wanted to check with you before I went to the police about him lying or something.” It wouldn’t be the first time our landlord tried a stunt like that.
Ruby shakes her head and hands me back the paper. “But I don’t live there.”
I pause while putting the paper back into my pocket. “What?”
“I moved out. Months ago.” She says it with a shrug, as if that explains it all.
“You what?”
“Didn’t your sister tell you?” She looks at Reina, who’s still playing tonsil hockey, before looking back at me with a confused expression that I’m sure matches my own. “She took over my lease when I moved in with Koop. I even gave her my key.”
The world seems to stop with her words. I feel it all slowing down, enough that I can see everyone else talking. Smiling, laughing, telling jokes. They’re all so happy. And my world just exploded. Yet again.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Another shrug. I fucking hate that move. It’s something you do when you don’t care. When there’s no emotion behind what you say before you say it. “Your sister said she would tell you.” She gestures to the woman who just keeps fucking up my life.
I glare at Reina. She might not see me, but I know she can feel my eyes on the back of her head. All the things she’s ever done to me are coming to mind. Piling up and up, like a dump truck dropping another fresh load of shit.
“Stop calling her my sister. She isn’t my sister.” My teeth grind together as I speak between them.
“Ooh-kay.” Ruby looks back at her man with raised eyebrows, as if I’m the crazy person here. And maybe I am. Thinking I could come talk to my friend and have her on my side over my stepsister.
“And no.” I shake my head with a snort as I look away from Reina, focusing on the person I thought I knew. But now I can see I don’t. Ruby isn’t the same person I thought she was. Kind of funny, since I was never the person she thought I was. “She never told me about the roommate swap. And I doubt you explained the half-rent thing to her, which explains the eviction notice. So glad we’re all communicating and shit.” I throw my arms up, frustrated with all of this.
“This” being my entire life. A sad fucking life.
Kooper snorts, drawing my eye, and I see his eyes roll.
I’m too pissed off to curb myself. The quiet, mousy Natalie I showed to these people is no longer. The one I kept hidden, the person I tried not to be, is coming out. The mouthy one. The one who questions people.
I haven’t been her since I was in elementary school and thought I could have a choice, a life of my own. I was wrong. So I became this. This thing of a person who’s seen but rarely heard from. It’s served its purpose. People overlook me. Something I needed growing up, and something I thought I needed to keep my head down.
But what good has it done for me in the end? Not a goddamn thing.
“Something funny, Kooper?”
His eyes find mine and narrow at the challenge in my tone. But like a typical biker, he doesn’t back down. “Yeah, the words coming out of your mouth.”
“Really?” I’m quick with my sass, and I know my response has pulled the attention of a few more people. We’ve slowly become the main attraction since I showed up, and each word I speak, each time I challenge anyone and don’t just cower, another person sees me and starts questioning what they know about me.
News flash: No one knows shit. Least of all Reina.
“Yup.” He stays sitting, as if he doesn’t give a shit what I have to say. It’s a power play move, and on others, it might work. Not me. Not now. “You keep saying one thing, and she says another. It’s comical.”
“Who?” I ask, but I already know what he’s going to say.
“Your sister. That’s who. You claim not to have family.”
“I don’t.”
“And yet there she sits.” He points but doesn’t look. Neither do I. “So tell me, Natalie, who’s that?”
“A person. Not family. Figured you of all people would get that. She’s a person. She’s not blood. Even if she were, I would never claim her.” I look around, seeing everyone staring at us. “But I guess you’re right. It is funny. Funny how this place is all about building a family and keeping secrets, but the second I don’t spill my guts, I’m deemed untrustworthy. Not connected, right? An outsider for life?”
I wait a beat, let my rage build, hoping it’ll just simmer. Keep me from going hot and ready to talk shit out. But I can’t contain it. Not after I see Ruby of all people roll her eyes as well.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I yell.
The entire place falls silent. They might see me as a crazy person, but all I see is red. I look back at the one person I came here for. The one I stood tall by and was happy to defend. “What the hell, Ruby?” My anger is too high to let any bit of sorrow drip into my voice.
“Hey.” Kooper stands quickly and moves to Ruby’s back. Not shielding her, but supporting her if she should need it. “You don’t get to talk to her like that.”
I wave him off. He’s not even on my radar anymore. I’m done with him. “Oh, shut the fuck up, Dixon.” I can hear the collective breath from the crowd from me using his real name. Something I doubt I should know, but I do. I know quite a bit about a lot of them. Like I said, I was invisible to them. There’s power in that. “I can talk to her however the hell I want to. Especially after the shit she just pulled.”
Ruby shakes her head and talks to me like a child, just pushing my anger higher. “Actually, you don’t, and what shit are you talking about? I’m not the one lying and hiding things.”
“Really? You really want to go there?” I look her over with a single eyebrow raised, and when she says nothing, I throw my hands up and turn to walk away. It’s not worth it. The memories I have of our time together will have to be enough. Arguing and airing her shit to the club will do nothing for me in the end. It won’t get her back as a roommate. It won’t make anything better than what we have right now.
Or I would have, if I hadn’t heard a small giggle. A giggle that makes babies cry from the ugliness it brings to the world. Something I thought I had left behind when I left my old life.
“You know what? Fuck that.” I turn back around and point at Ruby, only because I need to deal with her before I deal with the other one. “You say I’m hiding shit? Sure, I am. But so are you. You did from the beginning. But that’s what we did. We kept our shit to ourselves, and no one had a problem with it. Or you didn’t, as long as it was in your favor, right? Right?”
I shake my head and run my fingers through my long hair. “After everything. Every goddamn thing I did for you, for this club.” I gesture at everyone, and none have the courtesy to even look away. They just keep staring.
I see Izzy standing with her man and point at them. “I got a broken nose from someone taking your kid, and when I asked why, you all shut me down and told me to forget about it. Right?”
“Or how about when your dad died, Ruby? Who stood by you at the funeral? Who took care of you when you cried yourself to sleep for hours on end? But wait, he didn’t actually die.” I turn and see her dad standing with someone I don’t know. “There he is. Back from the grave. A miracle. And when I asked about it, when it was just you and me in that hole of a room in Colombia trying to survive together, you told me to forget about it. Right?” My words are soft, but not the meaning.
“And speaking of, when you were kidnapped, who was taken too? Who was with you each day of that hell?” I step closer as I speak. “Tell me. Was I even a priority to get out? Or were they just there for you?”
She flinches—not a lot, but enough that I see—and I nod, taking a step back now that I have an answer.
But Ruby’s done being put down. I see it in the spark in her eyes as she looks at me. She’s finding her own fire. “Does it matter? You got out. Because of my people. Mine. Yours just left you there.”
“What?” My steam dies down at her words, as they don’t make any sense.
“Yeah, because it was your people who found you. But they didn’t want you. Why is that? Why would your people track you down and then not care what happens once you’re found?”
“I… I don’t know.” I shake my head, confused. “I don’t have people.”
She snorts. “But you do. So get off your damn high horse already.” She turns her back on me, and it’s the final nail in our friendship. Sealing our fate of never being close again.
“Consider me off and gone. But….” I hold my hands out as if I’m surrendering. And I might be, to them, but not to Reina. Never to her. “Let me guess. She”—I nod to Reina—“told you some sob story to get you to invite her here, to a family thing that I was never allowed into. I could sure as shit shed blood for the club, just not be allowed access to it. Spread your legs and you get in, though, right? That work for you, Ruby? You feel like you’re one of the gals now?”
I know I went too far, but I still welcome the sting on my face from her fist. A solid hit. I knew she was never the type to slap a woman. No, Ruby, despite everything, is hardcore. If she’s going to take her anger out on someone, she’s going to use her whole fist.
Tears gather in my eyes from the impact. I start talking before I look at her. The place is still quiet; not even the birds make a sound. I don’t have to speak up for those in the back to hear me. My words just seem to carry on the wind, no matter how softly I say them.
“I never asked for anything from you. Ever. I never lied directly to you or hurt you. My mother was my only genuine family. Everyone else was assigned to me because a piece of paper claimed me as part of their family when I wasn’t. I have no one, and I still don’t.” I blink back the tears, and the anger and hurt come out instead. “I did nothing to you,” I say with a shake of my head and then point. “And you still chose her. Her over me.”
“Can you blame them?” Reina finally speaks as she stands. I’m slow to look at her, unlike everyone else. “Look at you, sis. You need help. Real help.”
I blink. Once. Twice.
“KPH-SG-7742-A19X.”
“What’s that?” someone asks. I think it’s King, and I look at him when I answer.
“That’s the account number that my stepsister has been siphoning your money into since she got here. KPH-SG-7742-A19X.”
