Prologue—Billy

   

     “Take a seat, Billy.” My mentor, Jesse, doesn’t even look up as I walk in. And I was quiet—super quiet. Trained to be muted. But nothing’s gotten by her since I was seventeen, so I’m not sure why I expected a change.

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     I sink into the comfy desk chair opposite her and wait. And wait some more. I can usually outlast anyone on the waiting game, but I’m irritated to be here. I should be home sleeping. Lots of sleep. Doc calls it resting and recuperation, but I plan to drink a bottle of scotch and pass the fuck out.

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     “Want to tell me why I was summoned?”

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     Because that’s definitely what a request to come in to the “home office” is—a summons. As if I were a peasant and the king demanded an audience with me. I do field shit, not office work. No reason to be here.

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     Unless I’m in trouble. Or someone I’m in charge of is.

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     Fucking hell, Jack. You really know how to make a mess of a good thing.

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     Not that I should blame Jack, but if you knew her, you would blame her too.

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      “Would it shock you to know you’re one of a few candidates we’re looking at?” Not even a head rise or a spare look in my direction as she speaks.

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     “For what?”

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     This time she looks up, and I see grass-green eyes that have always freaked me out a bit. The shade is too bright to be natural, but I know Jesse isn’t the type to change anything about herself that isn’t natural. “Charles’s job.”

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     I slump in my chair as if she hit me. “What?” My voice is so faint, I don’t know if she reads my lips or actually hears me.

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     Jesse swipes away my feelings with an eye roll as she looks down at her paperwork once more. “Don’t worry. Charles isn’t sick or going anywhere anytime soon.”

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     Fuck, that’s a relief. I’ve only met Charles a few times. It’s not the person I’m worried about but what they represent. And for me, and others, it’s hope. Family. Safety. The last one more so than the others for someone like me who never seems to let go of old demons. Ones that stay in the brain and remind me of my past sins. Regardless that I can take care of myself, and others, I might always be a scared little girl in the corner calling out for help. Even my shrink has given up on trying to cure me of this. It’s been over five years. You’d expect I’d be fixed by now. But no. At least my shrink has job security.

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     “You know how we like to plan for things at all angles.” Jesse pulls me out of my head and back to the point at hand. “One day, Charles will have to step down, and we need to have someone ready to fill the spot. While Charles made our group, one person doesn’t define us.”

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     “Yeah, I get it.” I rub the goose bumps away from my arms. She’s always read me well. It’s creepy as hell.

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     “Do you? Do you really?”

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     Her tone has my eyes flashing to hers, glaring at what I know she’s thinking now. She might know a ton about me, but I also know about her and what she’s implying without saying it. “Of course I do.”

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     She shrugs as she glances at her stack of papers before looking back at me. “Your actions prove otherwise.”

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     I stop grinding my teeth only to purse my lips together to keep from saying what will most likely get me fired. The raised eyebrow she shoots me is proof my mentor knows me well enough that it’s a possibility I won’t keep my trap shut.

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     Thankfully, she moves on. No need to talk about the other reason I’m local right now and not out in the field. No one likes to learn they aren’t invincible. I knew it for a while, but I’m sure the reason I was in the company’s medical building for the last week might have been a wake-up call to others.

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     “Anyway, we wanted to start you on a path that will allow us to evaluate how you’d handle all aspects of Charles’s job.”

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     “What’s that mean?” I don’t like mind games, unless I’m the one playing them. I speak plain and simple when needed and make sure others do, too, when I can. No need to think harder on what’s being said if it’s articulated the first time.

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     “Consider it a trial period for every aspect of this company. We want to make sure the person who steps in knows every sector, so if we need to start from scratch, we know what to do.”

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     “Where do I start?” When I began with the company, I realized quickly that when you’re told about a position, this place isn’t one to give you the weekend to think over whether you want it. You get about five seconds to consider it. If it’s not an immediate no, you’ve got it. End of discussion.

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     I’m not opposed to taking on a position that Charles has. It’s daunting, but another thing this place taught me early on: if they have faith I can do it, I should also have the same faith.

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     “Recruiting.”                                            

        

     If I could roll my eyes, I would. Recruiting is so far south of what Charles does, it’s almost insulting. I’m even a little offended they want me to do it. “Seriously? You want me in the office scanning files and looking for potentials? Not to gloat, but I feel overqualified to sit behind a desk all day. No offense.” I add the last part to keep the peace as I watch my mentor turn a shade of red out of anger.

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     “None—” She takes a breath, going as far as closing her eyes and working out the tension in her jaw before looking back at me. “—taken.” Now it’s her turn to glower and purse her lips. “But those who scan and look for people are known as Filers, not Recruiters. Hell, the fact that you don’t know the difference makes me think we need to get you the handbook. And before you ask, no, I’m not a Filer. I’m a Mentor. I chose the desk, as I seem to have lost my shoes.”

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     I wince internally but show her no pity on the outside. Since she became my mentor, I’ve known she never wants pity. Especially for a birth defect that means she’s missing her legs. Not that it’s ever stopped her from kicking my ass, even from a wheelchair. The woman is freakishly strong, which is why she does great in undercover gigs when she wants to play that aspect. No one ever expects a phocomelus to be a spy. It’s not something people can wrap their brains around. But we can. We’re all about the unexpected.

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     “Recruiting is field work,” she finishes with a heavy glare.

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     Oh.

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     “Look at these files.” The stack she pushes my way is thicker than my last case file, and that shit was a ten-year op the company had different people on several times over. “Pick one. We already vetted them and expect positive marks from all of them. We simply need someone to mold them. That’s what a recruiter does—brings them up to speed and gets them into the program at full tilt. Just like I did with you before I moved to mentoring. You succeed in this, and we’ll see where you go.”

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     “To mentoring?”

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     She shrugs as she wheels herself out from behind the desk and toward me. “Maybe. Charles wants a person in all areas. Mentoring is one of them, but it may not be where you go next. Then again, this might sort people into places we never considered them going into, and they might stay there and not continue to rotate positions. We’re looking for someone for all aspects, but we won’t hold it against a person who excels in one spot and wants to stay there.”

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     Nodding at her words, I rush through the files, scanning their initial fields to shed some light on why they caught the company’s eye. “What’s Jack going to do while I do this?”

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     I finally look up when I hear nothing. Her face tells it all. I lean back in the chair at her expression, and my heart cries a bit. “Don’t. Please don’t.”

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     “There’s nothing I can do, Billy.”

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     “Come on. You can’t get rid of her. She goes, I go. That’s always been the drill.”

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     “She almost got you killed,” Jesse protests.

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     I shrug, but inside I agree with her. Something I would never say out loud, ’cause as much as I support that if Jack walks from the company, I’ll leave, too, I also won’t deny when my mentor is right.

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     “Almost. There’s a big difference between almost and succeeding.”

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     She snorts as she rolls away to another desk, picking up more files and setting them on her lap. “Not by much. She’s unstable. Always has been. But I think she’s getting worse.”

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     I don’t show her that I agree. I can’t. That would be a sure kill order if I ever saw one. Instead, I hold firm and don’t look away, standing my ground, in a way, to show my mentor that if I have to, I will walk away from the only genuine family I’ve ever had. Other than Jack, of course.

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     Something in my eyes must make her understand, as she shakes her head at me. “Fine. She stays. But this is it. Last chance. The organization isn’t going to clean up any more of your sister’s mistakes.”

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     I huff at that. “None of them were mistakes. We got the guy every time.”

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     She raises a brow at me, and I look away. I’ll admit—though only to myself, never on any official report—that some were messier than others.

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     Jesse snorts again at my lackluster protest. “Blowing up half a city block for retaliation against someone who kicked a dog isn’t little. You pick one yet?”

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     I choose to not correct my mentor that it was a full city block and instead stand to hand her the file I want while placing the rest back on the desk. “This one.”

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     She flips it over, and her lips twitch but never form a full smile. She used to have the same reaction when I started, but I never knew if she was holding back a smile due to pride or to laugh at my choice. Lord knows I never pick the easy way, even when I try. “Of course.”

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     I tilt my head at the way she says it. Something’s off, but I stand by my choice. That file holds someone I can work with, someone I would go to war with and die for.

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     “Fine. You leave at the end of the week. See Chip and Dale for details on setup.”

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     I move to exit, knowing the drill, but her next words stop me.

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     “And Billy? You’re telling Jack she’s off tracking.”

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     Shit.